How To Be Random

I am so the wrong person to be writing this post.  My partner is the one who's good at the random.  I'm the anal retentive one who puts everything in a straight line, where it looks too....anal retentive.  I truly have to force myself to be random, and it doesn't always work.

You may ask me, how can you possibly be both Half Assed and anal retentive?  I really don't know.  I'm certainly not a perfectionist (as you've seen, if you've been reading this blog), nor am I a clean freak.  My toilets might get a good five minute's cleaning a month, if we're lucky.  But I am a neat freak.  In other words, random crap strewn everywhere will make me so uncomfortable I can't sleep, but my sink might look like someone threw up in it at any time.  Obviously, this does not make me very nice to live with.  But I digress...

1.  Pick different heights.  As you can barely see in this Half Assed photo, when I applied the two decals to the wall in my living room, I "hung" the chandeliers at different heights.  Even though the shelves are balanced, and it would have looked perfectly balanced to hang them at the same height, I forced myself into random mode and hung one higher.  Even better would have been to hang them both together, on one side, at different heights, but I wasn't ready to go there yet.  Give me a few more years of therapy... 

2.  Consider "weight".  You can be both random, and balanced at the same time, if you "weight" your items.  Look at the objects and assign them a "weight", based on their size.  Imagine for instance, if  you're constructing a mantelscape, and you have three candlesticks of different heights.  One is seven inches tall, one is four inches tall, and one is ten inches tall.  If you place the two smaller ones on one side, they will balance out the taller one on the other side.  (7+4=11, 11 is fairly close to 10) and yet there's still a feeling of balance.  This is a good method to apply when you're dressing an entire room or rearranging furniture.  You don't want the room to look too "heavy" on one side, but two small chairs can balance out an overstuffed love seat, while still looking more interesting than two identical loveseats.

3.  The Rules.   If you're anal retentive, you'll need rules if you're ever gonna be random.  This is what I've heard/read about decorating.

When grouping items, odd numbers are always better than even ones. Check out these images from the Pottery Barn website:

When working with items of varying heights, the tallest should go to the left.

Don't ask me why, I have no idea, this is just what I'm told.  I do what I'm told.

Chistopher Lowell used to say that you needed to always leave 36" of walking space between furniture items.    I don't buy that one.  My coffee table is about 17" away from my couch.  Any further, and I couldn't put my feet on it or reach my drink--what's the point of that?  But obviously, don't place the furniture too close together.

4.  Don't be afraid to mix shades of colors and patterns.  Who says you can't?  One of the main reasons people are afraid to decorate with color is that they're way too worried that a chosen color will be hard to match.  If there's no matching involved, there's no worries!  My lime green living room isn't exactly lime green.  In fact, the walls are a tasteful beige and dark brown, and I've picked up items, pillows, and fabrics in probably a hundred different shades of "lime green".  Basically, if it's a green that's more yellow-y than brown-y or bluish, it works.  (In my mind, anyway).  I've zoomed in on a photo from that room and identified the different shades of green:

And the patterns?  I count at least seven in these two photos alone.  If the colors are in the same range, they'll be fine.  If the patterns are in the same style (preppy, mod, romantic, etc.), they'll work together. 

5.  Work outside the box, literally.  Don't be constrained by the natural lines of the room and the items.  This is really hard for me to do, I usually have to enlist the help of friends.

T

This was a room redesign we did years ago.  The frames placed outside the picture moulding vastly improved the look of this mantelscape.

This photo was shamelessly stolen off the 'net.

One of the big advantages to being random is that it suits the Half Assed lifestyle.  Rather than using a laser level to hang two pictures at exactly the same height (and getting it just a tad off, not to where anyone can notice it, but just enough to bug the hell out of you), hang them at two different heights, and you never have to worry!  The biggest sign of a decorator look is the injection of the random, and my clients' all-time favorite features of the rooms we've done have always been the random features.  Stack your books in a vertical pile rather than horizontally, and stick a random object on top and feel the rush of being a rebel!